Mental Masturbation

I’m sitting on the roof of a tin shed in an alley way just out side of Patterson station, looking over a parking lot, smoking a cigarette and letting time shift around my being.

Today I stood at the cliff at the edge of the plateau that is my life, I jumped. I needed too. I am now free falling into the abyss.

My love for her was unparalleled. I let her go. I know exactly why I did it. When the only meaning you can hold onto in life is slowing tearing you in two, taking the plunge allows me to mend and grow. Then start at the bottom of the cliff and ascend to a new Warren.

This all sounds very spiritual but in reality I have never felt more physical. Never have I felt so dead.

Today I let my heart die so that from the remains I can let a new life feed off my flesh. I will learn to be a stronger vessel for the sake of it because it’s the only thing I haven’t tried.